EP

by dumb hats

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1.
i saw something ironic today: two kids returning bottles for their mother, who was nowhere in sight and i said, "isn't ironic that two kids are cleaning the mess that their mother, the alcoholic, had left, and they reap none of the rewards?" well, i've got something to tell you. and i've got something to say. but i will drown in a bottle of whiskey before i say what i will say. but i feel like, those two twins when pictures of when we were kids arise. thinkin' about my father michael and how he left so long ago and i didn't think it would have much of an effect. well isn't irionic how i'm still thinking of you? and how i see parts of you in me? well, i've got something to tell you. and i've got something to say. but i will drown in a bottle of whiskey before i say what i will say. but i feel like, those two twins when pictures of when we were kids arise. and it's no wonder why i second guess myself when i'm lost in my head standing in a store, returning all my shame.
2.
"you've got a lot to prove," she said. "well, i'm not changing soon," i said, "but who i am hates who i've been." been putting the same songs on repeat. relient k and gregory isakov's music just drip-feeds into my brain. and i don't know just how we got here. but i know i'm ready to go. and i want to work with you 'til we're both sitting in wheelchairs eating pudding and playing bingo. i've always been told i'm so romantic, but if someone could check my brain, i think we'd realize that i am sick. and i don't know just how we got here. but i know i'm ready to go.
3.
cold sweats and early mornings. i can't feel the weight you carry as we drive closer and closer to undoing what we've done. feels like i'm always running. you've got your head up high (your head up high. your head up high) but your hands are shaking more than mine. i wonder why (i wonder why) why i even try to carry mistakes (the mistakes) made between you and i feels like i'm always running.

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released December 14, 2018

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